What Is Real? (Just a Dream)

[just_a_phase]

She dreams.

When she was awake, there was too much, much too much, to remember. To sort through. She was too many places at once, and in most of them, no one noticed her. In some of them, she scared people.

In one, though...

One was close. Closer than the others. Like it wasn't a different universe or dimension or timeline, like she just...shifted.

Awake, it's all too much to sort through--another dose of Kick, and she probably could have. But another dose of Kick, and she'd probably have never stopped.

But she dreams, and she could swear, it's so real, then, it's not like dreaming, it's like remembering something that she desperately wishes she could believe was true...

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[just_a_phase]

She'd been whimpering when his mouth touched her.

And then he's in her and she's gasping, and yes, he's big, and thank God he did help her get ready, and even so it's not quite comfortable.

She doesn't care, and she shifts forward, pulls him in deeper, and moans against his neck. "//I love you. I have always loved you. I'm sorry for all the times I should have said it and didn't. I'm so sorry.//" She can't keep the tears back, but it's not from any physical discomfort.

[konocc]

He whispers her name over and over, as he moves with her. "Never stopped...Don't stop..."

The alchol is is still in effect and is making him feel uncoordinated. Her phased form isn't helping.

"Get on top," he mutters, leaving her and shifting positions.

[just_a_phase]

"Da," she murmurs, and she's kissing him hard as she can, now, trying to bring herself more here--

And she is. She knows it, she can feel the lack of too-slick smoothness. Maybe not entirely, but--but 90%. More. Enough.

"Oh, God--" she can't say more, just moans, as he slides in deeper and she buries her face into his neck. Whispers, after a moment, "This. This is how it should have always been. Rough--be rough, be gentle, I don't care, but don't stop. And touch me."

[konocc]

"This is why I moved you." Now in addition to the thrusts, she can feel now what he's doing with both hands free. He moves back to those same senstive areas he touched before, now only with more focus and coordination.

"I love you, my beautiful Kayta. My best dream..."

[just_a_phase]

Talking is hard; he's known her well, even without sleeping with her, since they were teenagers, and experience only makes his hands more clever.

"I'm not a dream. Please. Please, Piotr. This time, I'm not a dream," she manages, arching her back. "How--oh--how can I make you believe me?" she whimpers as she wraps her legs around him.

[konocc]

He wants to believe.

He begin to believe.

And then nothing.

Nothing at all.

In an eyeblink she is gone again and he is alone.

A scream fills the space.

[just_a_phase]

She doesn't know if it's his scream or hers.

It might be both.

All she knows is she can feel all of her, all the parts, zooming back together, and then she's on the floor, unable to think through the jumble. Just sobbing.

---

When she wakes up, sore from where the frame of the picture dug into her chest, she's crying again.

And trying to convince herself it was just a dream--with a feeling in her gut telling her if she hasn't gotten rid of the Kick, damn her, she'd know for sure.